but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
