who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize