Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
