Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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