I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize