theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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