I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
