Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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