i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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