I think my fart just growled at me.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
