Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
