I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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