You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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