no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
