what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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