He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Bring me that man meat
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
