Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster

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  (970): He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster http://tfl.nu/ubg8
  Replies (86) Good night (1004) Bad night (3732)
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  (818): View more from California

  thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)

  (661): View more from California

  should have blown me.

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  (818): thank you for a lively/lovely evening :) (661): should have blown me. http://tfl.nu/rnof
  Replies (50) Good night (898) Bad night (3988)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?

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  (402): Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy? http://tfl.nu/i95d
  Replies (275) Good night (4215) Bad night (27002)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.

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  (630): my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out. http://tfl.nu/fs1q
  Replies (15) Good night (1255) Bad night (4728)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.

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  (203): I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/3knu
  Replies (12) Good night (1274) Bad night (4007)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.

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  (512): There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW. http://tfl.nu/izzq
  Replies (22) Good night (6620) Bad night (1872)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.

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  (978): bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/o1ww
  Replies (11) Good night (5749) Bad night (907)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.

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  (714): I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later. http://tfl.nu/riev
  Replies (17) Good night (1911) Bad night (2326)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.

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  (828): YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN. http://tfl.nu/nkzr
  Replies (2) Good night (1861) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina

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  (952): His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina http://tfl.nu/9a4t
  Replies (42) Good night (3347) Bad night (755)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

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  (703): Casually had to file a missing persons report last night http://tfl.nu/xg7g
  Replies (12) Good night (865) Bad night (1848)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.

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  (281): Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy. http://tfl.nu/smj8
  Replies (2) Good night (347) Bad night (632)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested

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  (770): How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested http://tfl.nu/aiir
  Replies (5) Good night (586) Bad night (226)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small

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  (512): He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small http://tfl.nu/qooh
  Replies (3) Good night (841) Bad night (217)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.

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  (330): I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life. http://tfl.nu/iw6t
  Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (288)

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