i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
they're reeeeeally big trays
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
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So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.