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• (631): View more from New York

  i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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• (310): View more from California

  I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....

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• (315): View more from New York

  There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  its Wednesday...

  (315): View more from New York

  they're reeeeeally big trays

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  They dropped the charges?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.

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• (562): View more from California

  I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.

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