He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I need a hoe opinion