So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.