She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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