Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
