also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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