if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
