So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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