It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
