I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
