But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
