Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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