There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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