I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
