Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
