Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
