do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
