I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
