You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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