hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
