We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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