yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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