so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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