Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Boobs speak an international language.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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