Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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