Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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