Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
