life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I will be naked everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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