Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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