there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
