I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
