All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
