i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
