they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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