if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
