When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
This is my gift to your gina
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
