a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
