I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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