Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
