I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
