It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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