I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize