This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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