He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
