quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize