no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
