What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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