so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize