Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
