I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
it's like heaven, but drunker
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
