i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
