you guys were way drunker than both of me
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
