I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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