therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
